we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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