I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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