The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
