I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
