so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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