my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
