I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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