i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
