i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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