I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
