Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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