whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize