im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
