well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
