But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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