i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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