What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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