Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
