You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
