I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
