Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
