Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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