ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
