Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I wish there were birth control emojis
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
