I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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