I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
