So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
