it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
