I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
