yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
only if we run a train.
done.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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