Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
