it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
