Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
