Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
