It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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