I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it was like eating out sand paper
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
