you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
