Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
