by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
