Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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