why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
