Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
