hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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