i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
