Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
