Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
