I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
