All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
