the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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