I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
