it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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