You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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