He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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