She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Houston, we have a squirter
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
