ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
