by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
