Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
