just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
