You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
