I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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