Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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