I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
