weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
