you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
