I love black thongs
My nipple is on Facebook.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize