This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
