i will never coherently bang her
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
