it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
