party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
