I can tuck mytits in my pants
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
