My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
