Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
