I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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